COUPLES WORKBOOK - CLEARIN MY CONSCIENCE
(Finding Inner Peace)



Are you troubled by things in your past? Are you seeking relief from inner tensions? Do you have a hard time dealing with guilt conflicts? Do you lack inner peace? God our Creator set up certain directives to structure all our relationships with Him and others. He implanted these rules in our conscience to help guide us in the right way. Unfortunately we all tend to suppress, ignore, or numb our conscience until we do not understand what it is telling us.

When I violate my conscience by breaking one of the Ten Commandments and/or its variants, a little accusing voice starts in my head: "You have done wrong; you need to be punished." The voice is like the red light on the dashboard of a car indicating something is wrong and needs to be fixed. Many people are so irritated by the accusing conscience that they try to still that little voice by using alcohol and/or drugs, but this only intensifies the guilt (dread of being punished) and the accusing voice gets louder. However, others are able to numb their consciences (1 Timothy 4:2); but the guilt surfaces in free-floating fears, anxiety and nervousness and finally self-hate. Their self-esteem is so damaged that they attempt to shift the blame by sadistically accusing and abusing those around them. Or they may become masochistic and punish themselves in order to get some relief from that accusing little voice. Some give to charity or at church to try to buy their consciences off. This only gives temporary relief.

Breaking our Creator's unchanging rules-and offending Him so that we dread His judgment-is true moral guilt. This guilt can only be removed from the conscience by finding forgiveness through Jesus Christ who died on the cross to pay God's penalty (death) for sin and its attending guilt (Romans 6:23). This involves confessing sin in true repentance before the Lord (1 John 1:9). In true repentance, a person feels grief at breaking God's Law, grieving His Holy Spirit, and wants to change his bad ways (James 4:8-10). False repentance is present when a person is sorry that he got caught and wants to escape the consequences of his sin. He feels sorry for what he did to himself and seeks relief (Hebrews 12:15-17).
I can often have a pity party and produce false repentance when my sins catch up with me, but only God can help me experience true repentance. When the Holy Spirit convicts me of my sins, my conscience is trying to point out to me that I can find forgiveness from Jesus Christ by confessing and repenting of my sins.
The following prayer exercise that uses the Ten Commandments as its base (Exodus 20:1-17) has been used by many to find forgiveness for their sins. The dread of being punished is gone (1 John 1:9) and the penitent can find peace with God. A person obviously cannot remember all the times he has broken the commandments, but the following soul searching questions can help.

1. Thou shalt not have any other gods before Me (Exodus 20:3) Have I denied God by worshipping myself (living for self) and not worshipping Him? Have I been going my own way and serving false gods?

Lord, I confess the sin of living the self-centered life. I have put myself and my own desires ahead of You and Your will. God, be merciful to me, a sinner, for Jesus' sake. Please forgive me for my selfish ways and help me put You first in my life.

2. Thou shalt not make unto Thee any graven image ...nor serve them... (Exodus 20:4-5)

The thing that is the most important to us and our happiness is called an idol (Matthew 6:19-24; Ephesians 5:3-5). This can be a spouse, child, money, career, drugs, alcohol, etc. The list is endless. God has a holy jealousy of our idols. Our Creator made us to serve Him; therefore, it is necessary for Him to be the most important One in our lives. When that is the case, other things take their proper place as secondary to Him. What are the idols in my past, and what are they now?

Lord, I confess the sin of idol worship. I confess I have had the following idols in my life: _____________. Forgive me for the times I have made idols of pleasure and obtaining wealth or popularity. Forgive me for all the times I have gotten drunk and/or high on nonprescription drugs (Ephesians 5:18). These idols cannot give me true happiness. Only You can. Please help me put away all the idols You bring to mind and help me to re-order my priorities so that my joy is in You.

3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain... (Exodus 20:7)

Have I gotten angry at others and cursed them (Matthew 5:22)? Have I ridiculed others for being Christians? Have I talked irreverently about God and His church? Have I had companions who use vulgar language and have been bad influences on my life (Psalm 1:1; Proverbs 4:14)?

Lord, I confess the sins of blaspheming Your name and cursing. Please forgive me for cursing at ______. (Name all those you remember cursing.) With Your help, I will never curse again. Please forgive me for choosing the wrong friends such as _______ (name them). From now on I promise to choose decent, godly people to be my friends. Help me to watch my language and repent if I slip.

4. Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy... (Exodus 20:8) Have you used Sunday, the Christian Sabbath, as a make-up day for those things you didn't get done during the week because you were disorganized or lazy? Have you treated Sunday as a common workday? Have you stressed yourself out working seven days a week because you overspent and went into debt? Have you often stayed up late Saturday night, slept in on Sunday morning and neglected to go to church? Is God not blessing your finances because you neglected giving at church (Malachi 3:8-11)?

Lord, I have sinned by treating Your special day as a common workday. Please forgive me for profaning Your Sunday (the Christians Sabbath) commandment. Help me to rest and worship on Your day. Help me to give sacrificially at church so that You can bless my finances and help me get out of debt. Help me to be better organized during the other six days of the week.

5. Honor thy father and mother... (Exodus 20:12)
Have I given my parents the honor due them? Have I been disrespectful to my parents?

Have I rebelled against my dad's God-given authority when growing up (2 Timothy 3:2)? Have I been disrespectful to other authority figures in my life such as teachers or employers?

Lord, please forgive me for committing the sin of rebellion against You by rebelling against the authority figures You placed in my life such as ___________. (Name the authority figures.) Please help me to be respectful to the positions of authority figures from now on, even if I do not respect them as persons. Help me to love my parents and care for them in their declining years and possibly poor health.


6. Thou shalt not kill (commit murder) (Exodus 20:13)
Have I ever lost my temper and seriously injured someone? Have I ever caused an abortion? Have I ever seriously thought about or tried to do away with myself? Am I harboring unforgiveness (Luke 11:4) toward someone who offended me? Do I fantasize about doing harm to someone who has really caused me pain (Matthew 5:21-24)? Am I resentful and bitter about the afflictions I have had to endure (Matthew 5:10-14)? Lord, please forgive me for injuring ______. (Speak names.) Lord, forgive me for the sin of unforgiveness towards _____. With Your help, I commit to forgive and forget what _______ did to me. I cannot control the thoughts and pictures that come into my mind, but with Your help I will not choose to dwell on these hateful thoughts. I will brush them away like flies. Help me to use righteous anger when people do wrong so that I can confront them and straighten out the situation. Help me to repent of sinful anger and hatred toward ______ that have hurt and humiliated me. Enable me to let the sinful anger go by forgiving and forgetting, like You did on the cross. Help me to accept painful circumstances as coming from Your hand for my growth in patience, self-control and longsuffering. Lord, help me to repent of self-righteous pride. Let me receive Your grace of humility.

7. Thou shalt not commit adultery (sex sin) (Exodus 20:14) Have I ever had extra-marital sex or pre-marital sex? Am I having a sexual affair now? Have I ever looked at dirty pictures, magazines, videos, or pornographic websites? Have I fantasized about having sex with someone besides a spouse (Matthew 5:27-28)? Have I ever done sexual favors for someone of my same sex?

Lord, please forgive me for committing the sin of adultery with _______. Lord, please forgive me for committing fornication (sex sin) (1 Corinthians 5:15-18) with the following unmarried men/women: _______. Help me to avoid those who are sexual temptations to me. Lord, please forgive me for committing the sin of sodomy (1 Cor. 6:9-10) with _______. Help me to forgive if I have been molested. Lord, please forgive me for harboring dirty thoughts in my imagination. From now on, help me to guard my thought life by brushing away dirty thoughts and refusing to concentrate on them. Instead, enable me to distract myself and think of other things. Help me to guard myself from temptation (Luke 11:4) by getting rid of any sexy material I may have hidden away. Help me to put a filter on my computer so I cannot access pornographic sites. If I am single, help me to abstain from sex until I get married. I know I should not be alone with the opposite sex for long periods where temptation is sure to arise. Help me to do my courting in a group.

8. Thou shalt not steal (Exodus 20:15)
Have I stolen by taking money from my mother's purse, shoplifting, sneaking things from others, leaving unpaid debts, wasting time on my job, cheating others of their rightful due, borrowing things and never returning them, carelessly defacing or destroying the property of others, or not giving God His due?
Lord, please forgive me for the sins of stealing as I name specific instances that come to mind. I commit, with Your help, to making restitution (Exodus 22:1-7, Proverbs 6:30-31) by contacting those I have stolen from and making agreements to pay them back.

Thou shalt not bear false witness against your neighbor (Exodus 20:16) How many times have I sinned with my tongue (Proverbs 12:17-22) by gossiping about or slandering the good names of others? Have I deceived others or sworn falsely in court?
Lord, please forgive me the times I have sinned with my tongue. Forgive me for injuring the good name of _______. (Name the ones that come to mind.) Help me to promote my own good name and the good name of others. I confess that I have sinned by willfully lying to _______. Please forgive me. Help me not to love lying and let me promote the cause of truth.

10. Thou shalt not covet... (Exodus 20:17)
When have I been discontented with my situation and complained (Philippians 2:14)? When have I greedily desired what others have (Proverbs 15:27)? When have I been jealous and envious of others (Proverbs 6:34)? When have I thought I would be happy if only I had _______? When have I wished evil to others? Lord, please forgive me when I have sinned by complaining about _______. With Your help, let me learn to be content in all things (Proverbs 30:8-9). Lord, forgive me for being jealous of _______. Help me to stay free of jealousy from now on, and only desire good for others. Help me to find my happiness from now on only in Jesus Christ.

Summary: When a person truly repents of his sins and confesses them to the Lord with a sincere intention to change his sinful ways, the Lord promises in 1 John 1:9 to forgive him. God will lift His anger and punishment off that person and cleanse him of the guilty fear of being punished. The person will then have peace with God and his conscience.

*Ask God to cleanse you now and surrender your life to Jesus Christ.

*Ask Him to come inside and make you a new person with a clean past.

*Begin reading the Bible daily to find out how to live and act in your new life in Christ.

*Seek His plan for your life as you read and see God's direction in His Word.

*Join a Bible-believing and preaching church.

CONTACT JOE

joe@sturzchristiancounseling.com


Preface, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12,


Ephesians 5: 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 5: 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.