COUPLES WORKBOOK - Chapter 9

LEARNING TO BE A SERVANT LEADER

When I was learning to lead in my home, I thought of leadership as being the "top dog" and everyone had to obey ME! The Lord was to teach me otherwise. As I was asserting leadership in the home, it became apparent that the Lord was providing for us in a large part through what Rachel earned. Everything she was doing was producing money, and very little of what I was doing was providing any money.

I quickly learned that when she had an art commission and worked in the studio, she was making more money than when she was cooking and taking care of the kids and housework. I learned that the more I could relieve her of the responsibilities when she had art commissions, the more financial resources we gained. So I told her to paint and I would do the cooking, housekeeping and babysitting of our three children. I could do this while doing counseling over the telephone. (I had a forty-five foot cord on the telephone and could carry it wherever I was working.)

I was her "gopher." I would "go for" this and "go for" that to make sure she had what she needed in art supplies, etc. I learned Jesus' principle that indicated that all who were under my authority I was responsible for and had to take care of and provide for. This meant I had to anticipate their needs. I had to be their servant and "wash their dirty feet" when needed. My wife managed the home for me, but I was her servant who ran errands and helped her organize and do things around the house. The kids and I needed to help her. I found out that the higher I went in authority over others, the lower I went in servanthood to others. I could do this resentfully and pridefully to get myself ahead or lovingly and humbly as unto the Lord to further His kingdom.

I continued to struggle with my pride as the Lord helped me learn humility. I continued to have many "growth" experiences. People would ask me how I was doing and I would say, "I am growing." I was growing in patience, humility, longsuffering, and self-control-qualities that I greatly lacked! The more aggravations and irritations I had the more I grew.

Related Scripture:

The Servanthood of a Leader:

John 13:4-5 "Jesus said, 'He who would be great among you must be your servant' and washed the disciples' feet."

HOMEWORK QUESTIONS:

Do I seek to "wash other people's feet" (humbly meet their needs), or do I seek to get them to "wash my dirty feet?"

As a leader over others, do I look down on them or do I see myself as their servant?

Am I growing in grace as the Lord gives me "growth" experiences, or am I rejecting His grace to develop my character?

Preface, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12,

Ephesians 5: 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 5: 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.